i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
