i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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