Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she peed on how many people?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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