nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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