are you so shy because you have an std?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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