if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
