got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
