My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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