who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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