if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize