She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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