I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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