can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
