dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize