i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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