I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
babies were throwing up all over the place
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He better not be in your backpack
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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