u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
