I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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