I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
