So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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