i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
