my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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