ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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