I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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