Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
