My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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