He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
