his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
