no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
where am i from again
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
