were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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