All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
