Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize