Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
