i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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