She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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