Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
