Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize