Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
