i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
