get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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