Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
