I'm lost and stupid without you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
