Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Two words: blizzard sex
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
