Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
