Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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