ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
