i permit you to call me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
