I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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