I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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