Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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