I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
