Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
This girl is more easily done than said...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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