from now on my penis is your penis
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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