I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
