I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
