Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
