Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
