he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
