she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
