I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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