I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize