Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
