What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
