I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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