if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
