My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
