Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
