So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
