i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
