Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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