officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
